The birthday pictures

Sometimes Debbie Downer takes over my blog, but I try not to let her stay for more than a day.  She had her fun yesterday - now its time for us to have ours! 

Since I didn't get a camera for my birthday, I had to rely on a friend to be the official party photographer.  Unfortunately that means getting no pictures of her.  :(  An oversight that will be corrected next time around.

My friend from South Carolina (the one that threw the kickin LOST party) came down with her husband and the 3 of us visited the new Titanic museum in town.

Its a go-at-your-own-pace/self guided tour so we spend a good portion of the afternoon taking it all in.  Then it was back to the house to welcome guests and decorating.  The decorations had to wait until after some of the guests arrived, since guest/friend Chasity volunteered to purchase them and make my house festive.  We're not tall girls, so the actual hanging was man's work.

We started out on the front porch, but despite the shade of the roof and the outdoor ceiling fan we decided it was too warm to eat outside.

We set up camp in the keeping room/hearth room/TV room.  (Maybe I should do a "name my catch all room" blog contest?)  Thankfully Melissa had brought a card table to provide some more table space.  (If you come to a party of mine don't ask if you can help if you're not prepared to!!)

(That's the little man getting throw back and forth by Jay & my BIL).

After an excellent meal of hot dogs (thanks to my master griller hubby), mac & cheese (thanks again Chasity!), baked beans (love you mom!), and spinach strawberry salad (thanks Super Boo :P) it was time to open presents.

My friend/coworker/training buddy got me the funniest.card.ever.  Seriously.

On the front was a picture of a cake stand with only crumbs left with the words "The democrats stole your birthday cake..."

Opening it up, it continued "They gave it to people not fortunate enough to have a birthday today."

Yes, I found it that amusing.

After presents, the guys got antsy and went outside for a round of croquet while the girls stayed inside for some general chatter and story telling.

This is me, demonstrating how I pouted until Jay fixed my closet for me.

Other stories included the "wucking wan" incident.

and "Sammy will take care of that for ya"

I'd tell you the stories, but then I'd have to kill you.  Then again...Sammy could take care of that.

I'll leave you with the card that my darling love made for me.  He gave it to me two days later, on my actual birthday, along with a Renee Zellweger movie he got for $3 and LOST season 4 on DVD.

The top right hand corner says "To: The most perfect, beautiful, fun, and loving 30 year old woman a man could have.  From: A dirty, older man.

Then under the flower in the top left he wrote: This is suppose to be a flower if you couldn't tell.  Don't ask me what kind because I don't know!

The 3rd blob on the right is his version of a mountain.  He drew a stick woman on top, and a stick man rolling down the side.  It reads: "You on top of mtn.  You kicked me off and I rolled down the hill."  He also labeled the green grass under the mountain and the river below that.  Apparently he heard his mother say "tell me about the picture" enough as a child to understand that sometimes his drawings are the most obvious.

Finally in the bottom left corner of the card is a butter fly that "lost his tentacle in a horrible scissor accident".

Who needs Hallmark when you've got a man willing to do what it takes to make you smile?

Even if that means twirling his finger in his chest hair to get it caught, just to make me smile.  (Last night was the most recent - however not the first nor last time - incident).  How can I not smile at a man willing to take the time to torture himself (then be at my mercy cutting him loose) just to keep me from being sad?

Hope everyone has a great weekend planned!

Tired

As you guys know a lot has been going on with me lately.  I feel like I'm running to the doctor every week.  Checking my calendar - I've had at least one appointment a week for the past 4 weeks.  Of course next week is no exception.

There was the LOST finale party, the party for the kids, meeting April (EEEEEEEEE!) for the first time, and of course my birthday party. All of which were a lot of fun.

But I'm tired. 

The kind of bone weary tired that reminds me that I'm ill. 

Crazy that I would ever forget, but I do.  I look at my empty calendar sometimes and question why I'm stuck doing nothing.  At least nothing of any interest. 

I wonder if I'll be able to do the road race at the end of July that I penciled in months ago.

Question how I'll be feeling come September when its time to start training for the Disney.

My calendar went from looking like this (the purple marks are completed workouts):

to just a page full of red (bills to pay) and green (bills already paid) markings...

Last night I got home from visiting my sister (I didn't get to spend much time with the kids because I was ill - thank you very much iron tablets.  You are totally not cool.) and having lunch with April, to find a doctor's letter in my mailbox.

It was just a letter letting me know of my appointment next week, but the letterhead and standardized wording on the page brought me to tears.

You see hematologists are typically also oncologists.  Just like your girly doctor is probably both an OB and a GYN.  I opened to letter to see "oncology group" at the top of the page and "cancer survival center" at the bottom of the page.

I just broke down.  Is this what's its come to?  Jay reassured (or was it warned?) me that I'd be the healthiest person there.  He explained that due to his hemophilia he's been in more than his fair share of oncology wards, and the fact that they are cancer doctors doesn't mean that what's wrong with me is that serious.

Much as he tried - he couldn't make me feel better.  After all his visits are due to his potentially life threatening blood condition.

I KNOW I'm getting worked up over nothing.  I'm CONFIDENT most of the time that its nothing too serious.

But then I get tired and worn down.  And I think about the uncertain.  I wonder what the beep is wrong with me.

I just want to curl up in a ball, take a nap, and not wake up until I'm fixed.

So Long Captain McPouty Pants!

Friday at my follow up doctor's appointment, I didn't exactly get the news I wanted.  I went in knowing that we'd ruled out the top two probably causes for my anemia (heavy periods - a non issue thanks to birth control, and GI bleeding - ruled out by the scopes I had performed on Wednesday). 

I went in expecting a new list of things we were going to test for, avenues to pursue, a timeline for getting back to normal life.

I got none of those things.

What I got was instructions for buying iron tablets (she was just holding off for the GI tests) and a referral to a hematologist.

She didn't say it in so many words, but I took that to mean that she had ran out of guesses about what might be wrong.  In the most kind way possible, she was throwing in the towel, passing the torch - choose your own metaphor. 

That scares me a little.  She's a brilliant doctor, always willing to work until she finds the problem.  Yet she's now acknowledging that the problem is beyond her.

She had me schedule a follow up with her in 3 months "so I don't fall through the cracks."  I almost lost it at that point.  My appointment is made for week 1 of my Disney Marathon training plan.  I HAVE to be better by then!

She scared me even more when she suggested that the hematologist might want to do bone marrow testing on me.  My hemophiliac husband later assured me that its not as painful as its been billed to be - it only feels like several wasps are stinging you over and over.

Well then if that's all bring it on.  [insert eye roll because I'd rather be annoyed at him then scared of the procedure.]

Here's where my confessions come in.  One thing I did learn from this visit is that its time to stop pouting and waiting to be fixed.  That might take a while.

*  I haven't been exercising.  At all.  Even though she told me I could.   After I heard "no training" I got    frustrated and quit.  I'm limited to exercise that doesn't leave me short of breath - but I've got a wide variety of things I can at least try to do.  Weight training, swimming, biking (if I go easy), yoga, pilates, and of course the ole stand by - walking.  I've got to get back in it.  If for nothing else but my mental health.

Both Sunday and last night Jay & I went for a walk around the subdivision, and I'm planning on walking with friends at lunch today.  Do you think I could talk April into a walk after lunch tomorrow?  Walking alone is too flippin boring, but as long as I've got good conversation its not half bad.


*  Food has been a free for all.  I'm quite envious of Karena's intuitive eating plan. When I stopped counting calories I hoped that it would work for me.  That was, however, before I realized that I was anemic.  Before I realized that my ice chomping was pica, not some crazy eating disorder.   My body craves ice (thankfully I haven't progressed to dirt or clay) because it thinks that the ice will provide some nutrient I'm deficient in.  Quite obviously now is not the time to rely on it for my needs.

When I counted calories I was able to control my portions and eating, but now that I'm not tracking the food drawer in my desk is just too tempting.  Is getting packed up and taken home.  I got a kick ass lunch box for my birthday and I'm going back to meal planning.  Every night I'll pack up the breakfast, lunch & snacks that should be enough to do me for the next day and not a drop more.  Plus that extra bit of planning will be fun for a control freak like me!

* I had a chimichanga for lunch yesterday and KFC for dinner.  They were both really good!

That's it for me - just some major behavior modifications to report.

What's up in your world?

Go Shorty, Its Your Birthday

What seems like eons ago, Amanda passed along her Kreativ Blogger award to me.  Slacker that I am, I'm just now getting around to it.  But what better day to celebrate an award than my 30th birthday!  At 7:06 this morning I officially left my 20s and became an old fart!

In acceptance of the award, I'm tasked with telling you 7 things I love. 

1. My Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.  It never ceases to amaze me how he's constantly working in my life.  I go away from him, get caught up in this world, yet he cares enough to bring me back.  His grace really is amazing.
2. My friends and family - I had a wonderful birthday party this weekend thanks to them.  I was amazed by how 4 different friend groups could come together and mesh so well!  I'm having dinner with Jay, my parents, and grandparents this evening, then meeting up with April on Wednesday for a first time meeting and lunch!
3. Reading - I went out on my front porch swing yesterday afternoon and started Prince Caspian in the Chronicles of Narnia series. 
4. Coffee - with cream and brown sugar.  I've read that it can inhibit the absorption of Iron, so I'm trying to only drink it mid morning - well after breakfast has had time to digest.  Now that summer is here I'll probably go back to making my homemade iced coffees (coffee, sugar free coffee syrup, heavy cream, & ice).
5. Finding old TV shows on DVD on sale!  Jay and I found an Everybody loves Raymond combo pack on sale at Target for $16.99.  For under $20 we got seasons 1 & 2.  We also picked up the first two seasons of Sanford & Son for the same price.
6. My house - it really is amazing.  The more I'm there the more I grow to love it.  Even if its not the perfect house.  Jay's even said that with his next sale we'd start looking into redoing the bathroom (one of only 2 problems I have with our home).
7. Blogging - who knew that I would become addicted to pouring my heart out 5 times a week for the world to read?  I've met some incredible women through the bloggy world, and for that I'm thankful.

I'm supposed to pass this along to 7 other bloggers.  Since its my birthday I'm going to be lazy and ignore that part of the bloggy award.  :P  Of course I love all of your blogs or I wouldn't visit them daily!!  Feel free to claim it as your own and repost. 

Greener Pastures

As if being on the DL*wasn't frustrating enough on its own - having no definitive reason as to why is even more so!  Not being able to compete in the triathlon on Monday was difficult, not helped by the congratulatory emails I received from both the Daily Mile & the race directors. 

*that's baseball lingo for being benched.  DL = the disabled list

I know that I'm supposed to be drawing closer to God in this time.  Whether that was His intention and He orchestrated the circumstance, or if He just wants to use it I'm not sure. 

I know that God wants me to depend on Him and Him alone right now.  That's why I feel (whether its true or not) that Jay doesn't quite understand.  In fact I think there are only a handful of people that truly get what I'm feeling right now.  That's not because I'm surrounded by heartless or uncaring people, quite the opposite.

God doesn't wanting me turning to my husband, family, or even friends for comfort. 

Just Him.

Reading yesterday afternoon, I came across the following quote.  It seemed random and not on topic for the book, but perfect for my current situation.

"If God wants you in the place you are in right now, then there are no greener pastures." -Stormie Omartian

What are my greener pastures?  Right now they are rediscovering my love of reading, and planning my 30th birthday party. 

Jay and I have gotten a lot done to the house that we neglected after we moved in and got tired.  Its good to get these finishing touches done.

As for reading, I've started the Chronicles of Narnia series.  I'm loving the imagery of Aslan the Lion (Lewis's Christ character in the books).  I almost cried in the doctor's office reading the description of the strong yet gentle Savior.  There have been a few moments since then, where I've pictured myself curled up with my head resting on the Lion of Judah, stroking his mane.

A few weeks ago I was in a funk and took some pictures of things that make me happy.

I'm trading this running route...

(See the cows on the hill?  Those guys mooing help in making me feel at home.)

To this reading perch...

(See my toes-es in the bottom corner?)

Trading nights of training and weekends of racing for moments of making this the best home it can be.

We are blessed, Jay & I.  No matter how tired or frustrated I get, that's undeniable.

(Like my "I need more cowbell" necklace?)

I can't take credit for any of the gardening work - most of the landscaping was already taken care of.  What little work that has been done out there has been done by Jay.  I love most of what the previous owners had planted though.

 What are you thankful for today?

Worst.Diet.Ever

The past 2 days I've been on a restricted  eating plan as instructed by my doctor.  Not for weight loss, but for colon cleansing purposes.

Yesterday's diet consisted of the exact opposite of things you're supposed to eat to lose weight.  Fruits, veggies, nuts, and whole wheat products were strictly off limits yesterday.

Today was a liquid only (but no milk) diet.  White grape juice and Jello for breakfast, Coke Zero and chicken broth for lunch, and probably another round of Jello for dinner.

By the time you're reading this, I'll probably be done with my coloscopy. My biggest fear is that they will find nothing.  Something is obviously wrong with me and this test is because the GI tract is the obvious choice.  I want to get diagnosed and fixed ASAP!

Please say a prayer for me!

Thanks guys - y'all are the best!

Okay I'm adding an update, because it didn't automatically post like it was scheduled to.  Everything went okay.  I'm gasy (sorry for the TMI) and my throat is sore, but all went well.  My mom said that she's never seen someone so upset to have the doctor tell them that they are fine.

I guess that's the problem, I'm not fine.  There may not be a problem in my GI tract (everything came back clean) but somethings wrong.  I guess its back to the regular doctor on Friday to see what we do next.

Hands down the best part of the morning was when the doctor started showing Jay, my mother, & I pictures of my stomach and intestine.  Jay got a lovely shade of white and green and grabbed hold of the hand rail.  When the doctor left I had to call for a nurse and ask her to find him a seat.  What a light weight!!

Keep praying!

SC LOST Party - Part 2

Since most of this weekend's pics include the Princess and Little Man and since you all are crazy stalkers who will hunt down my uber cute niece and nephew to kidnap them, I can't share the pictures of their birthday party with you.

Instead, here are some pictures from the LOST finale party I attended two weekends ago.

Since the LOST fun didn't begin until 7 that evening, we headed to the lake to enjoy the beautiful weather.

Jay, Todd (pictured) & I took our spot in the sun, while the rest of the crew found a shade tree to sit under.

When everyone had enough fun in the sun, we headed back to the house to get ready for the big Finale event.  Our hostess had out done herself with the the LOST decorations.

The Dharma table centerpiece

The Dharma booze

The Dharma bathroom supplies

Even a banner greeting us, just as the Losties were greeted when they infiltrated the Dharma initiative in the 1970s. 

Each of us were asked to pick a favorite Lost character before we arrived, as well as choosing someone for our spouses.  When we arrived, that character's framed photo greeted us accompanied by an envelope with our name on it.

Yes, the skinny blond in the front was for Jay.  As much as he denies it - he certainly has a type.  He was quite pleased with my selection for him.  I chose Charlie (middle section 3rd from the front - behind the dog).

Inside the envelope were boarding passes for Oceanic flight 815, along with our baggage claim tickets.  I'm not sure if you can tell by the picture, but along with the envelope we also got lottery tickets with Hurley's winning numbers: 4 8 15 16 23 42.

As the preshow started we all got settled in with our food and beverages.

*Gasp!*  Who dared bring box wine in Mingo's house!  I wanted it to get a Dharma label too.  Mingo, wine connoisseur that she is, preferred to pretend it didn't exist.

And now the cast of characters:

Carol, Fran, & Steve

The empty chair on the right was my seat.

Mingo (our hostess) & Carol (with her laptop ready to take notes on the show)

Jay (in the far couch - he's a real fan), Sydney, Mary, and Todd (our host).

Carol's husband Jose was there also, but he must have been on a food run or something when I took these pics.

As the preshow wrapped up and the finale began a hush fell over the room (mostly because we had to keep shhhhs - ing Jay).  In 2 hours and 30 minutes it would all be over. 

Of course there were tears throughout the show.  When Charlie and Claire reunited, when Sawyer finally "awoke" with Juliet.

But never more than when Christian Shepard (addressing his son Jack) said "The most important part of your life was the time that you spent with these people."

Carol looked around the room and said "He's talking to us."

After that there wasn't a dry eye in the room.  Except for Jay.  He remained in his oblivion.

Funny thing - Christian was right.  Over the past 6 years, as I've met these people on line and developed relationships across the country, my life has changed dramatically.

I've become an auntie of 2 (who just happen to be named after my favorite LOST couple - sheer coincidence by my non-fan sister), met and married the man of my dreams, and found my passion for running & racing. 

I'm not the same woman I was when the show began. 

What was your favorite moment/quote of the show?

(PS - My 2nd favorite was when Sawyer kept calling Miles "Enos")