Oh yeah, well not this week - maybe next week!?!
Challenge start: 137
Last week: 137.2
This week: 138
What's up with me?
I don't know how to "do" moderation. And doing what I know makes me lose weight terrifies me.
I really don't know what to do with that. I mean obsession and moderation are my only 2 weight loss choices, and I don't see either as a viable working plan for me.
I considered "doing" South Beach. It was even recommended by my Dad's doctor (we are both hypogluacemic) but Intuitive Eating principals are still in my head. Carbs aren't bad. No food is. I'm not even bad for enjoying a Pizza Hut double punch Monday buffet + Pepsi with friends. Probably not the smartest choice for my body, but it doesn't make me a bad person.
Really, so what if I'm chubby? I'm back to my former size 2 top, size 8 pants
Jay and I watched The Devil Wears Prada the other night. Later I commented to friends that the movie was meh:
was insulted by the "size 6 is the new 14", but even more insulted that they wanted us to believe that ann hathaway was a size 6.
I was surprised and taken aback for a moment when I got the following response:
Or that size 6 and below is a good thing to shoot for. Feh.
It got me thinking, what did a size 4 get me? Did I get the mortgage on my house paid off? Did it take me to Europe and to Australia? Did it bring my husband closer to the Lord?
None of those things happened. Those things on my bucket list that I supposedly want more than anything occured.
So what was the point?
I'm not saying I'm giving up. Or that I'm meant to be this size. I just don't know where all of this leaves me.
I said once that even if I gained all my weight back, the journey was worth it because I found my love of running and how great I felt when I exercised. Well that's me right now.
I'm going to be participating in a challenge issued by April. A mile a day for 100 days. Some days (like today in spin class) that will be easy peasy. Other days (like on the weekends) I'm sure I'll really struggle. But it'll be good for me.
In other news: