Dear 2010 Self. Love, Your 2011 Self

The Monthly project is going weekly!  For this month at least.  This week's challenge?  Dust off that old January 2010 Monday/Monthly Project - the one where we wrote a letter to ourselves, and review it. 

Half way through the year last year, I reviewed mine.  So I know I didn't quite reach it.  But let's take a look shall we?

Dear 2010 Brooke,



This past year was one of tremendous growth for you. 2009 Brooke was no where to be found!!


After a couple months of training - you set a brand new personal best at the Covenant Health 5K. Who would believe you'd run a 10 minute mile? Jay You certainly didn't. Remember what it feels like as you cross the finish line. Never forget that moment of total victory.


Of course you reran all the same races from last year, each time setting a new personal course record. First the SMARM 5K, then the West Hills race - the hills will kick your butt again. Period. This time you better your time AND you don't feel like you're going to puke as you cross the finish.


The new of running has worn off for your family - don't expect them to meet you at the finish line as they did all last year. This is old hat to them. You still have the stuffed animal the Princess gave you at West Hills - keep it close by, hug it often. With every hug, remember that she is with you in spirit at each race. Just as you will be when she grows up to compete.


Then there is the matter of this Disney marathon coming up. The training totally helped you kick it into high gear for the Oak Ridge Half. Shaving 15 minutes off your time? A completely crazy goal, but I'll let you in on a secret - You totally do it. There is no trotting, no getting passed by an old lady in a back brace, or a walk/runner who speeds up when you pass her so she doesn't have to be last.


You jog the entire race at a respectable pace, then you report back for training Monday morning. A week of rest? You don't have time for that nonsense - you have a full marathon to train for!!!


As I write you this letter, I can't help but be nervous. You've made a lot of progress in 2010, but you left me with some work to do. First there is the matter of 26.2 miles that you've signed me up for. No thanks to you, some of those nagging insecurities are still in my head. Can I do it? Am I tough enough?


You've proved to me that I am, but it looks like this month I'm going to have to prove it again.


There is so much more I could share with you, but I think its best to leave it at that. Love yourself, take care of yourself - oh and don't forget to love that husband of yours!


Love, 2011 Brooke

Who comes up with this crap?  I mean seriously some of us are trying to work here - these tears just aren't professional!!

Beyond training for Disney, I didn't do a single thing on my list. 

I didn't set a new PR at Covenant, but I was (mostly) okay with that.  I loved being able to race with Jay and my parents.  Of course Jay beat me, but I was proud of him for really pushing himself.  And incredible proud of my parents for their efforts.  My mom even went on to walk another race (On Cosby Moonshine Run - 3.2 miles) later in the year.

My 2011 self didn't even bother to mention the Mountain Man March where, with some friends, I walked 26.2 miles.  Maybe she figured if she said something I'd get scared and not commit.

I ran in the SMARM 5k, but I wasn't able to run the whole thing.  I got short of breath (even light headed - due to lack of oxygen I can only assume) and had to walk portions.  It was my worst 5K time ever.

Until the next week when I ran another 5K and set yet another PW for myself.

Thankfully May was also the month that my anemia was discovered.  Looking back at how bad I felt at the SMARM race, I'm quite fortunate that I listened to my body and I didn't push myself too far. 

I would have been nice if 2011 me would have warned me that the Memorial Day Triathlon would never happen for me, and I could have save my entry fee.  Thankfully the Anchor Splash Triathlon was perfect timing to be my first race back after getting myself healthy.

As far as shaving 15 minutes off my half marathon time?  2011 Brooke was wrong again.  I cut 18 minutes off my time!!!  During my anemia stuff one of the nurses told me that my race times would be incredible once I got built up again.  After all your blood carries oxygen to your body, and that oxygen directly effects performance. 

Then there was Disney training.  She...wait...2011 me is me now.  Duh!  Anyhoo, I was totally right about the Disney training.  Part of me says I've got it in the bag.  After all I walked a marathon despite being anemic and not realizing it.  I didn't let illness get me down and I fought my way back to being healthy and hitting all the goals I set for myself at the end of the year.

But there is still that part of me that worries...