I'm in that mood. You know the one. I come on here and whine about how fat I am, poor I am, lazy, unorganized - fill in the complaint of the day. My head knows full well none of those are true but some days my heart just wants to cry because while they may not be true, they feel true.
I can't quite weighing myself. Every week even though I've done nothing to make the number go down, I step on the scale hoping something will change.
And it does change - it goes up.
I've been instructed to stop weighing, but I ignore it. What if I don't weigh and all of a sudden gain a million pounds? I am weighing and still gaining so that argument doesn't hold water, yet I cling to it.
I read books that teach me to honor my body as a temple of the Lord. I gain the knowledge, but it doesn't quite make it to my heart.
I watch movies that remind that man looks at the outward but God looks at the heart. And I cry. I hope that its a lesson that the Princess grows up knowing. But I just can't get it through my thick head.
I think I'm going to have to get out my "fat" clothes. Its either that or lose the weight, and while I wallow around in the fact that I don't want it on my body I can't muster up the gumption to do anything about it.
Because most fat people you know who lack self control train for a triathlon followed by a half marathon followed by a full marathon.
PS - My house is filthy too.