Forgive me for diving in mid-stream.
I think because I come from such a “functional” family and have had so few real “problems” in my life that I can sometimes pretend that life isn’t messy, that there aren’t people suffering very deeply from all kinds of physical and emotional wounds.Marla made this observation on chapter 5 of Your Secret Name by Kary Oberbrunner. I have to say I agree with her. I was brought up in a Christian home. We didn't have a lot of money, but we made do.
One of my most traumatic memories of high school was the time my dad's truck was in the shop and he had to borrow my Papaw's (who'd been dead for over 5 years). It was a 1980 model Dodge pickup in white (or was it ivory? who could tell it was so dirty) with a bright orange tail gate. It had just been sitting on the farm collecting
I had to forumate a plan to keep from being seen getting into the redneck mobile. I had my dad drive around the pickup circle, only lightly tapping the breaks where most parents stop. Following my specific instructions, he then drove to the gate of the school (the less used of the two) and waited on me.
I would see him come through. Wait a few minutes (so as not to be obvious) and then walk to where the truck was parked waiting on me.
Yeah, I had a rough life.
So its easy to see why I get caught up worrying about the little things in life. For me, its always only been little things.
I even forget sometimes I'm married to a man with a major blood disorder. He went in for a check up a few weeks ago and I thought nothing of it. When he called with what the doctor told him, I panicked. His blood clotting factor had gone down a percent - and for someone with clotting factor in the low teens already, that seemed to be a cause of concern.
(For reference, normal people have clotting factors in the 90 percentile range. The paper-cut-and-their-dead hemophiliacs are in the <1% range.)
He'd also shown a loss in range of motion in his hip flexor. That couldn't be good could it?
Jay is so careful to act normal - hiking with me, playing football with the guys - I forget he's not.
Turns out its nothing to worry about. Clotting factor can vary daily but a percentage or so. As for his range of motion, due to the injury he sustained in high school, he's lucky that he's not walking with a limp.
But you know what? Even if those things had have been bad, worry isn't the answer.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
As far as chapter 7 is concerned...being stripped of everything, for God's glory.
I have, or at least felt like I have, but its gonna sound so pathetic to you when you read it. you're probably not even gonna believe me.
Not so long ago, I developed a
But it also made me a selfish person. Instead of focusing on God, or how I could help others, I constantly worried about how many calories I was consuming in a day. How I was going to get both work outs in that day. And if I only got in one (or God-forbid none) I berated myself for being a lazy sloth.
Then one day, by Divine appointment (I'm not a believer in chance), I had blood work done. I was severely anemic. My doctor instructed me to stop all training. The only exercise I was allowed to do was that which didn't leave me out of breath. Unfortunately, that left a whole lot of nothing for me.
It was like a smack in the face. My life revolved around training and losing weight. With one moment it was all taken away from me.
Sure, I still had my home, family, job, and material possessions. A modern day Job I was not.
Except in my heart.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21
I needed that smack in the face. Truly.
After a month or so of searching, the doctors filled me up with iron and B12 and dismissed me without an official diagnosis. They didn't know why I got sick, but I was officially better.
Now I won't go so far as to say that the anemia was me being smited by God. A medical "smack down" if you will.
But I won't go so far as to say it wasn't either.