As expect, since the first part of my week was one of progression, the second half of the week was spent down in the dumps. I couldn't find a nice thing to say to myself. Whenever I would walk by a mirror I would stop, turn sideways and beat myself up over the size of my stomach.
If I can pause for a side bar, my stomach is my best feature. No matter how little I weigh, my legs are always large(r proportionally than the rest of my body). I've got propetual junk in my trunk.
But my stomach is different. That's the first place I lose weight, the first place I notice definition when I'm consistant with strength training, and the one body part I wouldn't mind showing off to the world at most any weight.
Only last week I was bloated and all menstral. My stomach was huge. Okay maybe not huge, but much bigger than I ever remember it looking. Last week was one of the few times in my life I didn't need a belt. Normally to get pants to fit in the booty/thighs, they are way too large in the waist.
People are going to think I'm pregnant. I thought. I even dreamed about having a fat stomach with saggy skin. Nightmare really.
Thankfully when Aunt Flow packed up and left, so did my pudgy gut. Not to say I'm back to the rock hard abs of the Super Boo days, but its just a little softy and squish rather than rolling over my pants like they did last week.
Many of you have told me that I'm too hard on myself. I know its true, but I don't know how to fix it.
Today in the weight room, a good portion of the machines were being used and I had to switch up my rotation in order to get all the different exercises in. I hopped on the squat rack and loaded up while it was available.
Okay so maybe I didn't load up. I grabbed a couple 10# weights and a couple 5# weights. (Squatting a total of 70 pounds including the bar.)
I can't belive she's taking up the squat rack for that pathetic amount of weights.
She should hurry up and let people use the rack for a real workout.
Who's she trying to kid?
Okay so none of the guys in the weight room said these things, but I felt like they were thinking them. Then I remembered a Bible verse that reminded me why.
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:2
I hesistate to post blogs like this out of fear that I'll hurt someone's feelings. The last time I posted about how badly I felt for being judgmental (of the obese woman in the airport) I had a commenter wonder if people thought that when they saw her before a flight.
I hope yall know my heart. That I would never say anything to hurt you all. But this is something I have to get out. Forgive me?
The reason that I assume all those people were annoyed with me in the weight room? Probably because I've felt annoyed at some "lesser" person myself.
Like when I want to go for a run, only all the treadmills are taken. Those people are only walking, you'd think they'd be nice enough to give them up for someone to get a real workout in.
Oh yes I did. Thankfully I know how ridiculous these statements are and never let them leave my head
I promise, when I look at you, I see your sparkling personality, your generous heart, and your best physical features. But sometimes I look at people (that I don't know) and judge them based on their looks.
She must think she's better than everyone - look at how skinny she is and has her head cocked to the side.
Her thighs are muscular, but I'd be embarrased to post a photo of my leg looking that large.
This. must. stop.