As a newlywed, I expected the 1 Corinthians 7:5 challenge to be easy on me. Only this week – she really hit me where it hurts, myself image.
I’m not an overweight woman, but I do constantly struggle with loving my body the way that it is. Even as a kid, I remember having a “Get in Shape Girl” work out set. I was very skinny – only I didn’t realize it.
I’m still a size two. Well sort of. :P In dresses that flare out at the waist I’m a two. On the bottom I’m a size 8. Its okay – I’ll wait while everyone laughs at the circus freak. My waist is just a tiny bit bigger than the top of my thigh. Yeah, I know that partly means I have a tiny waist. But that also partly means I have huge saddle bags!
I try not to bug Mr. Right with my insanity. He’s repeated over and over that he thinks I’m perfect just the way that I am. Now that could be fear that I’ll go on a diet and make him eat healthy food, but I’m guessing its because he really thinks that.
I’ve tried excercising (dieting never really works for me) but I can’t lose weight that way. I asked my doctor about it, and she said it was just my body. She said that I may never be as thin as my size 4 friends, but that I am healthy and that’s what’s important.
My work offers an employee wellness program. For those choosing to participate, the requirements include 30 workouts in a quarter, and an assessment at the end of the quarter. I was discussing my weight with one of the fitness instructors (who was performing the assessment) and she said that she thought my body could only lose around 5-7 pounds.
That really disappointed me. Rather than take what she said as a compliment (my family insists that she means I don’t have all that much weight to lose) I let it get me down. She, along with my doctor, confirmed that I will never look like I want to look. The best I could hope for would be a bottom that’s two sizes bigger than my top, rather than three.
In the New Testament, Paul talks about being content in Christ. My body is a temple to the Lord and I need to accept it as such. How dare I criticize the master builder’s chosen design?
On Monday, Mr. Right and I watched the movie Fool’s Gold, starring Kate Hudson. While most of Hollywood is slim, she is one of the more noticeably thin actresses out there. I was surprised, as the movie progressed, that there was an actress in the film even smaller than Hudson. And yet somehow, while I watched these two ladies on the TV wearing little more than a bikini, I went into the kitchen and made myself cookies.
While I may never love my body, maybe I can get to the point where I can at least accept myself the way that I am. If I’m good enough for God and Mr. Right, why shouldn’t I be good enough for me?