I thought our first date had gone very well. I very much liked him. And he seemed to enjoy my company, but at the end of the date there was no good night kiss. That weekend I overanalyzed what it could all mean.
Did it mean he wasn't as interested as I thought he was? I had picked up on what I thought were subtle hints that he was comfortable with me-his hand grazing my arm and the small of my back-but at the end of the date there was no kiss.
I'll admit that I was disappointed, but told myself it was a blind date so maybe he thought kissing me the first day he met me was a little forward. My natural inclination (and fear) was that he liked me as a person, but wasn't attracted to me in any way. Of course he said he wanted to get together again, but in the dating world that means nothing.
A friend of mine-Michelle-offered another suggestion as to why he hadn't made a move via email: "Sounds like a really fun date! He didn't kiss you? He MIGHT be a gentleman! See him again!!"
And of course I did. The following Tuesday we went out for dinner and then putt-putt golfing. I should say that he took me for dinner and he just sat there. He took a bite or two of his burger, and ate very few of his fries. He assured me that he had a big lunch and just wasn't hungry, but I didn't buy the story at the time. His story now is that he was so mesmerized by my beauty that he was too nervous to eat. I'm not buying that one either ;)
As we were driving to find a putt-putt course open in October, he leaned over, reached under my seat and said 'What's this?" I wondered if this was some new come on line and groping my calf was the way guys made the first move in Ohio. Turns out, he had bought me Lost: Season 2 on DVD and hidden it under the seat in his Jeep.
He said he had planned to hide it somewhere a little smoother, but couldn't get it worked out. I think he wanted it, along with some of his pride back after I kicked his rear in putt-putt. Or at least that's what I like to say; I still think that he let me win. No one as competitive as he is can be that bad at a sports-related activity can they?
At the end of the date there was plenty more talking in the Jeep, then another hug, and no sign of a good night kiss. Of course friends assured me there was nothing to worry about. He had given me the nice (and expensive) 2nd date gift. Surely he wouldn't have given me a present midway through the date if he wasn't romantically interested. I convinced myself that if the dining part of the date hadn't went well he would have kept the DVDs under the seat and ended the date.
I had conflicting reports on how I should approach the issue on the third date. My brother-in-law insisted that the guy should always be the one to make the first move, but that if Jay didn't kiss me by the 3rd date I should just be forward and ask him why he hadn't.
Another guy friend of mine cautioned me about the danger of getting into the friend zone, 3 dates and no action would probably mean the end of any romantic hopes I had with this guy. He encouraged me to be open for Jay making the move, or making the move myself if necessary.
"If you don't, the next thing you know he'll be calling you asking you why his newest date hasn't kissed him yet." Um...okay dude, point taken. Sorry!
Our third date was on Jay's 27th birthday. We went to the Brewery for dinner, and then afterward I gave him his birthday present-homemade chocolate chip cookies. (Yes, I baked them!) Since we couldn't decide what else to do on the date, we went back into the Brewery for drinks and to listen to the live music.
The singer didn't know any of the songs we requested, including Blake Shelton's "Nobody But Me". As the night came to a close, we said our goodbyes in the parking lot. I later explained to a friend via email that he had been "holding my hand and playing with it while we were standing by my car talking." Surely this would be the night that it would happen.
But as we leaned in to one another, it very much became a hug-type lean in. Right before we hugged one another, there was a quick peck on lips. At the time, I wasn't sure if he went for it or if I did. All I knew is that it had finally happened!
Although the more I thought of it, I got embarrassed because I knew that I had made the first move. I just had to hope that he wasn't put off by girls being too forward. I hoped for a 4th date, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same…
Rachel is hosting Meetings, Marriages, & Memories again this week - head on over to check out more love stories.