August 23, 2010

Down on the Farm & Other Weekend Tales

This weekend I got to check out farm life at its finest.  First off I won the best/hottest wife ever award.  Sorry to all you ladies out there, you can just quit trying

After waking up early to see my hubby off to work, I headed out for a 3.5 mile run (with some walking throw on the uphills of the last mile).  When I finished, I was covered in sweat  and decided it was the perfect opportunity to take out the trash.  Typically that's Jay's job, but he hadn't gotten around to it and it desperately needed doing.

Having a hard time passing up that cookie or brownie this afternoon?

Read on.

I loaded up the garbage from the kitchen (including my Pantry Purge bag o'junk) into the back of his Jeep, then tried to figure out how to get the outside trash can into the Jeep I gave up and just ended up putting the bags directly into the back.  Although I did double bag the ones with maggots crawling all over them.

That's right, our trash usually ferments long enough outside to not only smell like a rotted corps, but to also have those slimy little worm-thingys crawling in and out of the bags.

Once that was all loaded up, I hauled myself up into the Jeep and fired it up.  It only took a few moments to noticed that my rear end was soaked.  Excellent.  You see Jay had taken the sides off the Jeep about a week ago, and its rained several times since.  I even noticed that the passenger seat is starting to get a white film on it.  (Mold?  Mildew?  I didn't get close enough to see.)

After finishing at the dump, I headed to the Dunkin Donuts near my house. 

Picture it - Tourist Town exit gas station.  A young 30 something girl getting out of a jacket up Jeep.  Her ass is soggy, her hair pulled back in a nubby, sweaty pony tail and she most likely reeks of rotten chicken carcass.

As I got out of the Jeep, I got hit on.


My hands feel like I'm covered in filth and a gas station attendant gives me that leer.  "Nice Jeep."

If I hadn't already wanted to vomit, that would have cinched it for me.

The rest of the day I just hung out on my front porch swing, or inside napping.  At one point I did finish my pantry purge and list making, but I figured I'd earned my day off with that 20 minute trip to hell the county dump.

Yesterday my sister and BIL brought the Princess & Little Man to town.  School is starting back soon, so they kids are having a week with the grandparents while their parents prepare for the first days of school.  (They are both teachers.)

After dinner, we headed home for the main event of the weekend - watching a calf suck on the nipple of a bucket.  Apparently she's not able to get milk from her mother, so my Papaw has to feed her every night. 

Inez/Beautiful the donkey always seems to think that its food for her, and gets irritated when she doesn't get any.  Last night we got a half loaf of bread and fed her after Papaw fed the calf, so she wouldn't feel left out.  The Princess was loving it until the donkey slobbered on her!

Both the Princess and LM each got rides on the tractor before darkness fell and we had to call it a night. 


  1. I don't think I could handle the trash chore especially with the maggots. Ewww. You definitely win the hot wife award.

  2. I have a hard time cleaning out old left over’s in the fridge with crap growing on it. I would NEVER be able to deal with maggots. YUCK!

  3. OK, I'll quit trying to win that award! ;) Your trash story makes me thankful for something I've taken for granted all of my life: trash pick-up! The rest of our weekend sounds nice, though!

  4. I think the last time I was hit on by a stranger was when I was a filthy mess too. Men are weird. And how fun that you go to spend time with the P and LM.

  5. Euwww! The maggots would have finished me off!

  6. Gross. Maggots. I would have run away screaming.

  7. wow...yeah, you win. i don't even want to TOUCH that award!

  8. WOW!! Love that you hit on! That's awesome! And when you get done with your pantry, please come do mine.

  9. ha! That's probably the one thing I DO NOT miss about North Carolina...those darn trips to the dump. hehe. I can't believe someone hit on you though smelling like maggots and all. That's great!

  10. I love that you got hit on when you were "trashy". Bwahaha! Couldn't help myself. ;)

    Love that you got to spend time with the kiddos.

  11. Ugh! I hate maggots! Yes, you win, "nice Jeep" and all. *sigh*...I just don't see that kind of action with a Honda Civic sedan.

    I've been runner up on the "hot wife" award, because I've taken care of rotting and dismembered-by-who-knows-what gopher carcasses in the yard. Oh, and I clean the cat's litter box; that has to give me a few points!

    Sounds like a wonderful time with your niece and nephew! Yeay, Auntie SuperBoo!

    P.S. Despite the warning, I read this during my lunch break. Silly me.

  12. I don't care how much I love my husband. Maggot infested trash would totally be his job. Glad you got to hang out on the swing. Sounds like heaven. Do you have a view of the mountains? I love where you live. We have vacationed there several times.

  13. OMG.
    Let me guess, you don't have trash service because it cost too much...
    Oh. My.
    I just want to fall down on my knees right this second and THANK GOD that we have weekly trash service and I never have to see maggots.
    Ick. Ick. Ick! Brooke!

    Glad you got hit on though. You are a hottie!


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