The scales weren't kind this morning. Okay so I get that they are an objective observer and don't get to tell me anything beyond what I've done to myself.
And what I've done to myself is sabotage.
Challenge start: 129.6
Last week: 130
This week: 131
That's right folks, the number is getting higher, not lower. Since next week is "my week" I'm sure to finish off this challenge with a big fat gain. (I always gain the week of my visitor.)
I worked through this a little on twitter the other day with April and Kirstin - I mostly think I'm scared of the anemia coming back. Scared that somehow my diet and exercise plan will coerce the ugly beast into making a reappearance.
I cannot live in fear! Taking the wise advice of Tiffany, I'm going to drop the calorie restriction for a while. Eat good, healthy foods when I'm hungry. And train till my heart's content. Maybe neither caused it, the doctor couldn't say for sure. But if one did, adding things back one at a time will help eliminate the culprit.
Instead of crying into my glass of water (its a little early for a tear in my beer) I'm going to think about two new challenges I'm going to participate in.
The first was recommended by Kirstin - the Inner Mean Girl 40 Day Cleanse. Here's what the hosts have to say about it.
It’s totally free, it starts on August 25th, and within 6 weeks we will have outed 6 of our Inner Mean Girls toxic habits. Comparison. Judgment. Obligations. And more… Goodbye!
Check it out and get registered now at: www.MeanGirlCleanse.com
Can’t wait to have this experience together!
I've signed up and I'll certainly let you know how it goes as I progress!
The other challenge is for the rest of the year. Its called the Drop Dead Gorgeous by December challenge hosted by Jess. While you can include your weight in your portion of the challenge if you'd like, it mostly focuses on being nice to yourself, and pursuing your goals.
Here's what you need to get started:
1. A photo of yourself with a self-motivational note.
Yes, those are my jammies. Jay didn't get home until late last night and had his camera with it. Never seen a woman in a ratty old shirt and silk PJ pants? Get over it!
I thought about it on my run last night and come up with this mantra for my sign - I can, I have, I will. I can train for whatever I set my mind to. How do I know? Because I already have. I will meet my triathlon, half marathon, and marathon goals over the next 4-5 months.
2. Posting your weight is completely optional.
see above. it ain't pretty!
3. At least one but no more than five long-term goals.
- Complete the Anchor Splash Triathlon
- Complete the Secret City Half Marathon in a new personal record
- Love myself
Out of the 3, its the last one that terrifies me. Comparatively the other 2 are easy peasy.
4. One brag for the week.I made myself get out and run last night! Only a big deal because I'm a girl that likes to go home and put on her jammies (as seen above). I usually either work out at lunch, or immediately following work. Seldom do I make myself workout after I'm home for the evening. Last night I made it happen!
5. One thing to improve upon for next week.
Consistency - I need to complete 1 bike, 1 run, 2 swims and a brick for my triathlon training.
Brooke, I'm so proud of you for reaching out on Twitter and listening to the advice people give you. You are an amazing woman, and you WILL find something that works for you, I promise. It's not easy, and you have hard a really hard time lately, but the most important thing is that you haven't given up. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF for that!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm excited to watch your journey with your new challenges!!! Good luck :) xoxoxxo
Ditto what Christy said! I love the two challenges you are participating in-I might need to check them out.
ReplyDeleteLove you and see you on Friday!!!!!
Thea and I expect your daily report by the end of today.
ReplyDeleteThat said, give yourself a break! You have had some serious things to deal with and now you're finding your balance again. Sometimes that takes a while. You're doing a GREAT job!
Sounds like you have a great plan.
ReplyDeleteHey, how can I follow you on twitter? Email your info or tweet me first!
So, so glad that April and I could point you in a more positive direction. I saw that link to the 40-day mean girl cleanse and thought of you. I hope that you begin to see how awesome you are, because the rest of see it.
ReplyDeleteGreat challenges. I love the loving yourself one. I might have to sign up too.
ReplyDeleteYour pjs look an awful lot like mine! And I like the sound of this mean girl challenge...I am definitely heading over to check it out.
ReplyDeleteAnd dude. I bloat like a mofo around the ugly time. I keep a pair of jeans a size bigger just for those few days. And sometimes I just forgo the jeans and wear drawstring scrubs. LOL
I had a gain this week too but you know we both still rock! It sounds like you have an awesome plan in place and two great challenges ahead (I may have to check those out!). Keep rockin' on Sista!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're experimenting to find what works for you, and backing off a bit on the calorie counting. Put your nerd glasses to use somewhere else!
ReplyDeleteI like the sound of your upcoming challenges! I *might* sign on for the Drop Dead Gorgeous one, but I'm still looking for clues as to what the new challenge at the Sisterhood might be!
I can understand the fears of your anemia coming back. I don't do any type of training, because I'm afraid I'll end up being focused on myself too much! How's that for a reason not to exercise?! I would like to be able to exercise & eat healthy just for the sake of being healthy, but it doesn't usually work that way for me!
ReplyDeleteAwesome!!! LOVE the silk pj pants with the T-shirt, btw. That's something I would do, lol.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see your progress with the challenges!
I like your goals! And your body needs good fuel to help you get there.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the anemia, I can understand your fear there. But now it's something you can just watch as you go about your business...don't know if that makes any sense, but before, you just thought it was feeling tired. Now you know what it feels like, and know to check with your doctor about it.
Your new challenges sound great! And I know you'll do great! Just do what you were going to do anyway, without putting extra pressure on yourself.
I personally think you're doing great. So the #'s on the scale aren't right. Forget those numbers for now and focus on you. I think your plan is fabulous. Rock those challenges, mkay?
ReplyDeleteHang in there girlfriend... Good for you for getting back at the training! I seriously doubt that the exercise will be the difference for the anemia. Diet can be so intertwined with anemia, so go easy on yourself for awhile. Good for you for entering that challenge!
ReplyDeleteGive yourself some grace and allow yourself to sit back and realize all that you are accomplishing! You are a beautiful human being!
You can, You will!! I know you can do all of this. You have done it before and succeeded!! Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteYou never fail to amaze me with your persistence and follow through. This is the 2nd time I've seen the link to that Mean Girl Cleanse...I'm definitely going to have to check it out.
ReplyDeletegood for you! i joined the mean girl cleanse, but the other just seemed like too much effort was involved :)
ReplyDeletegood luck to us!
I'm with you on taking a break from calorie restriction!! You can always regroup later if need be. super cool challenges you found btw!
ReplyDelete