March 08, 2011

An Odd Take on Vacationing in Paradise

Can I confess something?  Not an "I ate too many girl scout cookies" kinda confession (something I did not do just in case you were wondering).  But a straight up, on my heart, I feel bad just typing it kinda confession.

I don't wanna blog about my vacation.

Don't get me wrong it was wonderful, but I'm just not feeling it. 

We hiked to falls.  We swam in fresh water.  We snorkeled in the ocean.  We saw breaching whales.  Up close.

But I just don't know how to put it in to words.  Maybe its a perfectionist thing.  I've been battling that monster since before vacation.  All my life really, but he seems to have grown larger recently. 

It as perfect as a vacation can be, and I know I'm going to do a horrible job relating that to you.  Also?  You've probably already seen the pictures on facebook so that'd be redundant.

While I'm confessing?

I'm a horrible person.  The gross, icky kind that you don't wanna be friends with.

My first reaction upon seeing the morbidly obese woman walk toward our gate?  Dear god please don't make me sit next to her.  (The "g" in god is lower case because this certainly wasn't a real prayer to a real God.)

After Jay and I had boarded and had taken her seats.  She got on the plane.  Her discomfort was very obvious as she attempted to make her way up the aisle, knowing every eye was staring straight at her.  Knowing every mind was thinking that same prayer I'd said moments earlier.

"I guess that'll teach me to wait to go to the bathroom." She tried to make a joke of getting on the plane after most everyone else had.

I waited until she got a couple rows past me then started sobbing.  I made sure to be quiet, so she couldn't hear, but I couldn't hold the tears back. 

How selfish are we that we presume that a few hours on plane next to an obese person could be any where near as uncomfortable as living her life?  Dealing daily with the stares, the judging eyes.

Lord forgive us!


  1. I'm I've done it too, and I'm no skinny mini! And I've thought - who am I to judge when I battle weight myself. You're right - it has to be very hard every day.

  2. I have to fly a few times this year. I have to wonder if people think that of me.

  3. I used to be the same way...being a dietitian and learning that it's not always what people put in their mouth that causes weight problems gives you a new perspective. At least you are honest and you have a breakable heart - that will set you apart.

  4. i ended up sharing a row with a guy who had to buy 2 seats one of the last times i few. it was awkward to say the least, and i felt awful.

  5. Girl, you're not alone in those thoughts. And I can understand not wanting to blog about your vacay. Sometimes I have a hard time putting something like that into words!

  6. Guess I'll have to head over to FB and check out those pix! :-)

    Well, gotta say, airplane travel isn't exactly designed to bring out our best qualities as people. Having been the person people probably dreaded sitting next to, I don't think I'll ever have that thought about morbidly obese people sharing a row with me...BUT I used to have uncharitable thoughts about people traveling with small children...and then, you guessed it, I've been the one with the screaming kid more than once! :-) (Never did change a diaper in our seats, though I feel slightly more empathy about even that now.)

  7. You are really to hard on yourself! I know because I struggle with that too. You have to ease up though...otherwise you may implode/explode (like I have!).

  8. We all judge others and not just in size ways either. I work hard to not do it but i fail miserably. I feel your pain.sending hugs♥x♥

  9. Brooke, you've touched my heart. I've been guilty of thinking the same thing, only to look in the mirror and realize I'm in that same condition, or very close.

    I need to be more compassionate toward others...


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