June 30, 2010
Weigh-in Wednesday - You've got to be kidding me
I haven't done the weigh-in thing a while, but its time to get back at it. This time moderation is the key. I'm working through some personal issues, on how my weight doesn't define me, how I'm good enough just as I am (Mark Darcy anyone?).
Tracking obsessively wasn't working for me.
Guess what, not tracking at all wasn't working for me either.
The proof is in the numbers. My last blogged weight was 122.8.
Today I'm up to 127.6. That's almost 5 pounds gained in the past 2 months.
Holy guacamole! My eating habits have gotten out of control. I always new I was an emotional eater but I never realized just how bad I was.
Ever since the doctor made me hang up my triathlon goal, I've been throwing myself a pity party. Eating fast food frequently. Snacking mindlessly. Barely moving. (I was given clearance to exercise, not train. The difference? Intensity.)
So now its time to stop feeling sorry for my self. Maybe one day I'll be able to stop tracking, but that day isn't today. This is obviously something I'm not proud of, but my food free for all attitude wasn't doing my health any favors.
In the spirit of Thea, I've decided to give myself a weight range goal, rather than one single goal. Sure I'd love to get back down to fighting weight, but I'm also not going to beat myself up over a couple of pounds. I'm setting my goal range at 122-125.
So that means I only need to lose 2.6 to get into the range. Which makes it seem a bit like I'm making a big deal over nothing. But trust me, its a huge deal. Had I not staged an intervention for myself that number would have just kept climbing (last Friday I was at 129 when I stepped on the scale).
I'll just be honest - I have an infusion scheduled for tonight and another for Friday. They wipe me out. Mostly its the Benadryl before they give me the juice, but I typically go home and am in bed by 6 or 6:30 and am out for the night.
I hesitate to say that I'm giving myself a free pass, but when you can barely hold your head up you take whatever is put in front of you. I'm okay with that (and my Coca-Cola they give me to wash down the Tylenol) because its only a couple more times and trust me, I've earned it!
I've been doing great on my weight lifting plan (heading in there again today at lunch). Cardio is hard because it requires a bit more energy. Where normally I'd go ahead and push through (and typically get more energy for having done it), I've had 2 doctors advise against pushing through, even when it doesn't seem like a big deal.
So for now, I'm doing as I'm told. But I have found that the elliptical is a great exercise for me right now. Assuming my sleep patterns are good enough that I'm not falling asleep at my desk all day.
How'd you do this week? As always, the Sisterhood wants to be there to support you. What are you waiting for, blog already and link up!