June 30, 2010

Weigh-in Wednesday - You've got to be kidding me

I run with the Sisterhood

I haven't done the weigh-in thing a while, but its time to get back at it.  This time moderation is the key.  I'm working through some personal issues, on how my weight doesn't define me, how I'm good enough just as I am (Mark Darcy anyone?). 

Tracking obsessively wasn't working for me.

Guess what, not tracking at all wasn't working for me either.

The proof is in the numbers.  My last blogged weight was 122.8.

Today I'm up to 127.6.  That's almost 5 pounds gained in the past 2 months. 
Holy guacamole!  My eating habits have gotten out of control.  I always new I was an emotional eater but I never realized just how bad I was. 

Ever since the doctor made me hang up my triathlon goal, I've been throwing myself a pity party.  Eating fast food frequently.  Snacking mindlessly.  Barely moving.  (I was given clearance to exercise, not train.  The difference?  Intensity.)

So now its time to stop feeling sorry for my self.  Maybe one day I'll be able to stop tracking, but that day isn't today.  This is obviously something I'm not proud of, but my food free for all attitude wasn't doing my health any favors.

In the spirit of Thea, I've decided to give myself a weight range goal, rather than one single goal.  Sure I'd love to get back down to fighting weight, but I'm also not going to beat myself up over a couple of pounds.  I'm setting my goal range at 122-125. 

So that means I only need to lose 2.6 to get into the range.  Which makes it seem a bit like I'm making a big deal over nothing.  But trust me, its a huge deal.  Had I not staged an intervention for myself that number would have just kept climbing (last Friday I was at 129 when I stepped on the scale).

I'll just be honest - I have an infusion scheduled for tonight and another for Friday.  They wipe me out.  Mostly its the Benadryl before they give me the juice, but I typically go home and am in bed by 6 or 6:30 and am out for the night.

I hesitate to say that I'm giving myself a free pass, but when you can barely hold your head up you take whatever is put in front of you.  I'm okay with that (and my Coca-Cola they give me to wash down the Tylenol) because its only a couple more times and trust me, I've earned it!

I've been doing great on my weight lifting plan (heading in there again today at lunch).  Cardio is hard because it requires a bit more energy.  Where normally I'd go ahead and push through (and typically get more energy for having done it), I've had 2 doctors advise against pushing through, even when it doesn't seem like a big deal.

So for now, I'm doing as I'm told.  But I have found that the elliptical is a great exercise for me right now.  Assuming my sleep patterns are good enough that I'm not falling asleep at my desk all day.

How'd you do this week?  As always, the Sisterhood wants to be there to support you.  What are you waiting for, blog already and link up!


  1. Brooke, this compromise is perfect. You are cutting yourself some slack. You know you need more structure than what you've been doing. So find that range of happy medium. I'm hoping the infusions do you awesome and you'll be able to push through.

  2. I agree whole-heartedly with Kirsten, I think you've found the perfect answer for you. I am the same way, I need somewhere between hard-core and free-for-all. You're awesome, and yes, just as you are. (Love mark darcy, love!)

  3. You have to do what works for you right now, now compared to what you used to do. This is great news that you are getting back on track and making the most of what you can do now.

    Keep your head up, almost thru theses infusions!

  4. Good for you for putting the brakes on when you knew you needed to.
    (as Oprah has said "Don't let a wrong turn turn into a U-turn)

    Finding a weight range is such a good idea since our bodies want to fluctuate anyway--you are giving yourself space so you don't have to be so hard on yourself.

    Good work! I hope your treatments get you feeling better soon.

  5. Could you be building muscle mass too? That might explain some of the gain. Don't be too hard on yourself!

  6. You are intervening at the perfect time! I am in the same boat too. I need to tighten up control as I've packed on 4 lbs with all of the summer festivities around here.

  7. Like everyone else said-I think the goal of a weight range is a great idea. Even WW gives you a couple pounds once you hit goal weight.

    I'm glad the infusions are helping, but sorry they make you feel so tired right afterwards. This will pass and you will be back out there in no time.


  8. I think a range is a good idea! & I think you're wise to do as your told! I like the elliptical, too ~ only I'd prefer one at my house, so I can do it while I watch TV! I hope the infusion goes well today {w/only ONE stick!}

  9. This is a great compromise, you are doing well. I know it is disappointing not being able to train hard but you are staying fit. Good for you.

  10. YAY for your self-intervention!! just another reason I love you!! You are awesome for kicking my butt back into gear last night when I needed it & cheering for me this morning when I REALLY needed it. THANKS!! :) {hugs}

  11. I think the weight range goal is a stellar idea!! And so is moderation. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate BUT you are all handling it all extremely well!!

  12. You can do this, Brooke. I know you can, and I also know how it feels to step on the scale and see that old stupid crappy ass number. GAH. We'll get back to where we were! Only a couple of pounds for you, and a few more for me!



  13. great job! i have been hiding from my scale for the last couple weeks :)

    There's an award waiting for you on my blog today! Be sure to check it out!

  14. Sounds like a good compromise to me :)

  15. Pity parties have the most decadent eats, don't they? ;-) I know mine sure do!

    I'm finding that not tracking at all only works for me when I'm doing the things I would have done anyway, were I tracking and doing the right things (because I've been in tracking-yet-watching-myself-eat-crap mode, too). Having a goal range seems really sensible; the scale IS going to fluctuate, so why let the +2/-2 cycle make you crazy?

    Glad, too, that you're finding some exercises that you enjoy as you heal. I'd probably just roll up into a little ball if I was dealing with such a draining illness.

  16. Love your compromise and hopefully you'll be able to stay in your zone. Great job this week!

  17. i think a weight range goal is perfect...which is kind of why i broke my weight loss goals into 5ths. :)

    you go girl--you're awesome :)

  18. Tracking obsessively doesn't work for me either, because I expect to see change all the time and then I get demotivated. Going by the fit of my clothes seems to be the best way to go for me.

    It's hard to find a balance between enough structure and not too much of it - I hope this works for you!

  19. Brooke - great post! When I started back on my weight loss journey I decided that a weight range was the way to go. That way, like you said, there's no stress over a couple pounds.

    Last summer, I was training for what was going to be my first half marathon. I broke my toe at the base on my foot. Crazy weird break. I wasn't allowed to start really running long distances again until January. I threw myself a huge pity party.

    You are doing great! Keep it up and believe in yourself!

  20. I love that you're giving yourself a range and not being so hard on yourself. :)


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