Me Exposed

Just a preface - my exposed post isn't going to be like everyone else's.  That's okay though, because I'm not like everyone else.  This concept was born out of frustration and something that didn't work - but now I'm glad it didn't.  This post represents me and isn't that what the movement is all about? For more traditional exposed posts visit the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans and the exposed Queen Mish.

What does Super Boo look like when she strips down?  When she sets the cape and alter ego aside?

She's the girl who tries desperately to make peace with her body...although it doesn't always work.

She's a girl who breaks down when she sees a picture of herself OWNING a 10 mile race, because her legs don't suit her.

She's the poor girl who grew up thinking that Freezer Queen Salisbury steak was a treat, as was shopping for school clothes at Goodies instead of Wal-mart or K-mart.

She's the girl in middle school who made fun of a classmate for what she was wearing...and has regretted it every moment since then.

She's the confident little girl that got jaded by life a little along the way.

She's the woman who gets self conscious about her body when her husband tries to compliment his favorite parts.

She's the woman who was left alone with a baby for the first time when her niece was 6 days old and her sister was in the hospital with congestive heart failure.  She sucked up her fear of losing her best friend because someone had to be strong for the family.

She's the young lady who "vacationed" in Memphis on a church mission trip putting a new roof on a home in the 90+ degree heat.

She's the slightly older young lady who "vacationed" in Memphis to help displaced Katrina victims that were displaced to a school.

She's the woman who prayed, cleaned, prayed some more, and cleaned even more when her husband called to say a live electrical wire fell on his vehicle as he was driving down the road.  Her house was spotless by the time help arrived to free him.

She's the same wife who, a few months earlier, had to beg her hemophiliac husband to go to the ER after sanding off the top of his finger. 

She's the woman who makes excuses as to why she doesn't need her parents down payment money for a house so that she doesn't offend them telling them she doesn't need it.

She gives her niece and nephew "money making more money" for their birthdays and Christmas because she understands the value of compound interest and saving money early in life.

She's the friend who visits your blogs and is excited for all the hard work you've done over the past week.  She's glad for your successes and sympathizes with your trials.  She enjoys reading your insightful thoughts on the scripture as well as your silly randomness in memes.

She's the blogger who feels more honest with her readers than she does with most of her IRL friends.  Partly because she forgets she is writing for anyone but herself. 

She lives in the house of her dreams.  Her aspirations of paying off her home mortgage in 5 years isn't just a dream - its a plan that they are currently working.  No matter how many people laugh and tell her its impossible.

She's the wife who ask her husband for help, then went on her own uploading pictures, working in Fireworks to prepare her photo.  Only to have her husband tell her 2 1/2 hours later that she was doing it wrong.

She's the girl who's turning in homework incomplete for the first time in her life today.  Because at 9:30 last night she gave up - defeated, broken - because in her quest to love herself, she'd been made to feel worse.

She's the girl who decided to go rogue at the last minute and make do with what she had. 

She's me.  

I've been fat.

I've been skinny.

I've been on top of mountains.

On my wedding day, my husband looked me in the eye and promised to love me forever.  He did this despite the fact that I weighed more on that day than I ever have in my life.

Through all of this, for better for worse...

I am me.

I love me.

I hate me.

And that's me.  Exposed.