Had an interesting discussion with my mom today at lunch. While our place in life couldn't more different we're both experiencing similar issues in regards to our roles in church.
I started attending my current church shortly after Jay and I got married. He didn't like the mega church I attended with my parents. We then moved to my grandparents church, but I didn't like it there. It was an old people church and it felt stale to me.
We started going to our current church because a friend of Jay's went there. I love it. I feel like I'm growing and being challenged in Sunday school. The preacher is fresh (a few years) out of seminary and is on fire for God. I love it.
However, I just don't belong. I'm the only non-mommy in the Sunday school class (and I'm in the 20s class instead of the 30s class I should probably graduate to). Most of the women are teachers. When we have social events I struggle to find a conversation topic that wouldn't bore one (or all) of us to tears.
Service? That's another way I'm struggling. They constantly need nursery help. I'm 30 and have no children. Its safe to say that kids just aren't my thing. So when I asked the Pastor what was left in our church for a woman that didn't like kids, it seemed as if we hit a dead end.
He mentioned an idea for ministry and said I should get with another girl in my class about it - they had previously discussed it and I might be able to help in it?
When I received her email I was even more discouraged. She was looking for people to bake cookies.
Its a great idea - fresh baked cookies on the door step of all first time visitors. Very thoughtful. Very "we care". Totally not me.
Jay and I discussed my gifts and talents. So I emailed the pastor and told him I had web maintenance skills as well as having just read a great book about online ministry. Unfortunately the church doesn't have a twitter, facebook, or web page. Another dead end.
I'm at a loss. I know that my personality and skill sets are useful, but I'm getting so frustrated trying to figure out how to use them.
Which of course led to a conversation between my mom and I about the state of the church today. I get frustrated because I feel I'm too...I don't know..."modern" seems like a flaky word, but I'm at a loss for another one. I'm not the have babies and bake cookies type.
But then when I look at churches that are purposefully modern, I get frustrated with that too. How is serving coffee before church service going to further the kingdom? It just feels like they do things for the sake of being trendy.
What's left for me? I want to further God's kingdom. I want to do things with purpose and meaning. I want to reach the world for him.
So why does that always come back to cookies and coffee?
Please - anyone with ideas on how I could serve, I'd love to hear them in the comments section. A friend suggested I find a ministry that was based on Christian principles that might not be associated with a specific church. I'm open to ideas.
Living for God is hard, yo.
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