March 05, 2010

Monday Project - What if...

As in weeks past, Christie isn't holding anything back for this week's Monday Project.

The Monday Project

What would it be like if I just started this journey two years from now?

First off, I'd like to say that I'm not quite sure that the journey would have ever started if I had waited two years.  When I first started trying to lose weight and get healthy, I wasn't all that large to begin with.  My starting weight was 138.  I didn't have an "aha" moment, I wasn't disgusted by the size of my jeans, and I didn't even see that picture that spurred me to action.

Why did I start?  Because I don't like other people dictating my future.  I got married in November and by January I was sick of people telling me that I would gain weight once I settled into married life.  I know I scored some serious bling, but I don't think it weights that much.

I got so irritated, in fact, that I decided that not only would I not gain weight, I'd lose it.  After I started down the calorie counting road, then I started exercising, then the next thing I know a friend is suggesting we train for a 5K.

How would it be different if all of this would have happened in 2011 instead of 2009?  First off carving the time for exercise would have been more difficult.  Jay and I hadn't settled into any routines when I started my journey, so it wasn't like I was upsetting any apple carts adding in extra activity.

Also, the friend who I started running with is trying to get pregnant.  I'm sure her schedule will be much different next year - certainly in no position to suggest the C25K program.  I promise, without her suggestion and motivation, I wouldn't be a runner today.

Here's where it gets deep.

What would be different if I had waited two years to start my journey?
I have no doubt that I'd be medicated by now. 

Don't get me wrong, I am madly in love with my husband.  I have a Savior worthy of all worship and praise, a great family, good job and an over all wonderful life. 

But I was unhappy. 

Jay was already conditioned to be ready for the Sunday night ritual of me sitting on the couch and out of the blue whining "I'm sad."  You can't depend on someone else entirely for your happiness and self worth.  I have no doubt it would have been difficult on our marriage.

I was considering going to a doctor to get medication for it.

While I understand and appreciate that there are some people out there that need such medication, I don't want to take it unless there are no other alternatives.  For me, it would have been a cop out.  It would have been the equivilant of someone going to the doctor to get cholestoral medication all the while still munch down on bacon every morning.

Emotionally I am in such a better place now.  I know I've said this before, but give me back my 13 pounds and I would still go through this journey.

Because I'm happy.

Sure I still have rough days, days I'm overwhelmed, sad, or upset, but those days are the exception not the norm.  I have a sense of self worth because I've proved that I'm made of some pretty fierce stuff.  When I question my emotional/mental strength, I pull from my half marathon bank.  I promise just as much of a half is mental as it is physical.

I've challenged myself and never let myself down.

Jay doesn't have the exhausting chore of a wife dependant on him for her happiness.

God has one less stagnant, unmotivated follower.

My niece sees a vibrant aunt who's full of energy that she wants to be like when she grows up.

Honestly, I really don't want to think about where I would be come January 2011 if I hadn't already started this journey.  I just want to take this moment to thank God that He used my stubborn nature, a wonderful friend, and a group of incredible women to bring me where I am today.

So what's your story?  How would it be different if you delayed it a bit?  Those same incredible women are waiting to read all about it and encourage you to push yourself even further!


  1. I *love* this, Brooke. I never thought of it that way, but it's true! I used to cry to my husband about what my purpose was, I felt so unfinished and unhappy. My husband doesn't have that now! And I don't depend on him for answers either! You and I have that same stubborn nature, too, I can sooo see it. LOL

    Beautiful post. xo

  2. Great post! I would have been unhappy and feeling fat!!!

  3. A few things that I've noticed about you... you are so incredibly strong, self motivated, independent, witty and awesome. I'm so glad we're on the same team! :)
    I love the message you put across in this.
    I'm a little insecure and I think I might drive my husband crazy with it sometimes... hopefully I can look at this and take inspiration from it, and know ON MY OWN that I'm great :).

  4. Good for you for being so proactive at such an early point in your marriage! It isn't easy and I am amazed NOW (ten years in) that exercise can be such a powerful anti-depressant! I love that you are so faithful to nurturing yourself and your strength. I love too, that you are such a great Sisterhood friend and encourager! Thanks for sharing from the heart.

  5. I can remember when my husband and I were dating, think mid-nineties (gah-we're old!) and one of the first lessons he tuaght me was that "the only person that can make you happy is YOU". So true for all of us, isn't it? So glad you are with uss Brooke!

  6. Have fun baby sitting! I scored tickets last night to go see Rascal Flatts at the Houston Live Stock Show and Rodeo for my birthday next week. I'm super excited!!! Then we are taking the boys to the zoo! Have a great week!!!

  7. I love you, Brooke. I think you are amazing and strong, and I'm so glad to have been with you as you went down this road.

    HERE! HERE!!!!

  8. Great post Brooke. It just takes the first step. Have a great weekend.

  9. I am glad you are happy with your weight loss and physical fitness. That is wonderful.

    Congratulations on your new house.

  10. Wow! Thanks for sharing this. I feel similarly about getting fit. While I started my journey purely for back-to-the-wall physical health reasons, it's become such an important part of my mental, emotional, and spiritual health as well. I've certainly had days where I've felt sad or anxious, but not nearly as intense as it was before.

  11. Great post, Brooke! And I'm with you -- I'm in such a better place emotionally now than I was six months ago. You should feel strong and proud: you've accomplished so much, you're pushing yourself to meet your goals, and you've got awesome online friends!

    Glad you're on this journey with us!

  12. Wow. I LOVE this blog. It just makes me feel good. I mean...If I had started running two years from Let's just say I'm glad I'm running, lol!!!

  13. I'm so glad you're in a happy place! :) It's so good to be fulfilled, isn't it?!


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